THE time

Spending quality time with baby and left less than one week! SIGH!

How fucked up life can be when...
1. He is going thailand for training on 24 April despite of thailand chaos situation
2. Having 2 days 1 night fieldcamp before the week he went off (which is last week)
3. Followed by duty on the 'last friday' (last week) that he will be spending.
4. Fucking m1 refused to activate auto roaming for him as he is not 21 (and its like after 2 weeks or so, he will be 21)
5. No free time for him on the following monday to wednesday as the new bslc batch is coming in and he has to train/guide them!
6. Only able to book out on the day he is flying off which is friday!

Things just so fucked up!
Schedule fucked up!
Procedure fucked up!

EVERYTHING!!!


Overseas training phobia hasn't got rid from me! What came up my mind was some stupid ideas that have scared him!
I've told him I feel like breaking his finger/arm/leg so that he will be excused and thus ooc.
And things like IF I met accident or so, he might have reason to stay and able to skip his training! All sort of stupid things.

Ya ya. I know is just 3 weeks! I'm not afraid of us drifting apart, after all we have been together for going-to-be 6 years. Mutual trust has already built up strong enough by now. I just afraid of accidents!!
Like what Chong Meng said about he nearly fall from a cliff and baby's encik told him about the accidents where 2 men have found dead in Taiwan Training X years ago. The more I think, the more I'm afraid of!! He is too!

Sigh! I doubt I will be sending him off on friday midnight, saturday morning. Cause I know I will have a hard time; most probably unable to hold it!. Confirm!! Thinking of that moment already makes me tear!
So sadly, I refused to send though I wish to. And I shall stop being a crybaby, cause I know it will only make him more worried! But my tears just refused to listen! Having tear mask every now and then!
He told me to feel proud of him! I won't cause I will only feel proud when he came back safely in a piece; sharing his never-ending story (just like chongmeng) Then I will feel proud! (: sound so not supportive, after all I'm drop dead worried!

How ridiculous it can be when he mentioned about "Thailand" , "Overseas", "Training", my tears will rolled down no matter where I am! This is really fucked up! I feel that way too! Way too auomatic!




'Promises aren't meant to be broken! (: I will definitely WAIT for him!

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I hope time will stop at the moment we are together.
Just go slower by a few seconds; and i'll be fully contented.
I've enjoyed looking back at the hideous photos from 2004 to 2010 with him.
Laughing out loud at the old photo; Recapping each story taken behind each photo
I've enjoyed reading back the old blog from 2004 with him.
Hear him reading out every single words; Hear him laugh at the silly action I did/we did in
Reminiscing the past that we've been through.
every bits and pieces; every single moments;
all... planted deep inside me/us.


With love
Moodless

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